Friends? For ever?

There have been many things I had to learn the hard way, but there is one thing I just never seem to learn:

Picking the right friends. 

I am the kind of girl that, when we’re friends, is likely to do anything she can to keep you, as my friend, happy. I would help you as much as I possibly could. I’d even go so far as to take you everywhere I go with my family, because that’s fun, right? That’s what friends do, right? Having fun with each other and make memories together so that later on we can have good things to reminiscence about.  These things all make it easy for people to take advantage of me, and they more often than not do.

Every. Time. Again. 

After my friends abandon me because I chose not to be a push-over, they usually cause a huge scene about nothing and then mostly pin the fault on me. Yeah, then the friendship is over, but do I take away anything from it? Not at all.
It seems bad friends are around every corner, even stealing boyfriends. They talk behind your back about you. Some would even backstab you when you need them most.

The good ones seem to be rare or extinct. 

I learned the hard way, time and time again. But one day I just changed my ways.  I asked my mother as well. How do you keep it at only the good friends? How do you distinguish between the good friends and the bad friends that just want to take advantage of you? How do you let in the good without the bad? Admittedly, it’s a hard thing to do.

But you know a person’s got to do what he or she has to do.

At first you choose your friends. They don’t choose you. Don’t put your heart on a plate for them right away. Real friends don’t take advantage of you trying to provide for them in every way you can. Real friends laugh at you when you fall and then ask if you’re all right.

Or are those the fake friends?

Honestly,  so far the only good friends I can name are people I’ve never met, because they can’t gain anything from you, materially speaking, or profit from speaking to and laughing with you. So that’s one way to know if your friends are the real deal.

By the way, real online friends will never ask nudes or topless pictures. Just saying that for the uncertain ones reading this.

Also, real friends come to the surface when you’re facing some big problems. The real ones stick around and will help you through it while the bad ones flee, only to come back when the drama has taken its course.

Another way is “training” people out on priorities and don’t let them cross those. Another way to ensure you have more good friends is to “Train them,” so to speak. You assign priorities belonging to a good friend and you instil these traits. They will learn to be a good friend, although one could argue this training isn’t helpful for all bad friends. Some are just beyond learning, some don’t want to — alas, there may be many instances in which this approach doesn’t help.

In the end finding out the rotten ones isn’t as easy as I had hoped.
I will probably make a mistake or two and I’ll try to learn what I did wrong, but in the end it all starts with who you are and what you expect of others.

I am an average 18 year old with 99 problems and separating the good from the bad friends is one of them.

P.S. I’m curious about what other people think about this whole real and fake friends thing? I posted a question on GirlsAskGuys, a website where you can ask questions to total strangers and get some honest answers. Click here to go there.

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1 Comment

  1. Having a few good friends is the best thing that can happen to someone. But I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes those friendships don’t last as long as you want them to. A time comes, hopefully not to everyone, when you have to decide whether the friendship you have with certain people is holding you back.

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