When is it time to Let it go?

So there will be a time in your life when you know that you need to let go of someone, but can’t. It doesn’t matter what they do or what they say you just can’t tell them to walk out of your life even when they tell you they don’t want to be with you anymore and give mixed signals.

I’ve been there, I gave all I had to this one person who I thought I’d end up with. It started out like a modern fairytale, like really. Meeting someone through some app and then you talk more and notice you walked past each other.

Thinking about that person once every day changed into every second, talking to each other from the moment we woke up till sleeping time. There were no other people that sparkled my interest as he did, make me laugh or be happy with myself.

Soon things changed, you miscommunicate wrong and there is the first fight which was forgiven. Friends started to put their noses where it didn’t belong and made us argue about it several times, with the question:

“Are you being in a serious relationship with me?”

Yeah..it isn’t

There I was picking the pieces together.. Trying to make things work, make us work. There wasn’t a second I doubted we wouldn’t work because this feeling wasn’t a regular one.

Even when the ex knocked on the door in the de middle of the night telling that she had a fight with their parents ( traveled a long ass time to the house). I trusted in us, that us was stronger and that everything would be okay.

Still… I wasn’t able to let go, even though everyone told me I should because this, THIS situation wasn’t what I deserved.

I believed in us.

That person didn’t want to look me into the face nor want to see me in general.

I still couldn’t let go.

I was told sweet words, messing with my head, I asked what was the future where do we want to go?

or is we just me?

the answer constantly coming back was a plain

” I don’t know…”

Yet, I still couldn’t let go…

The frustration still built I took my distance trying to force myself to let go.
It worked as minutes and hours passed by I started to forget only to be dragged back down when a message was sent with the text.

” I love you and I miss you so”

Saying it’s okay to come and see me, say hello if the person had missed me so.

That person said ” No”

Knowing the feeling of reject and pain, I asked the same question.
I asked what was the future where do we want to go, or is we just me?

only getting the same old

“I don’t know..”

This time, frustration built up, anger was filled emotions going berserk and feeling messed up.

I was kept waiting on the sideline when I was needed or the person just needed sweet words. I pushed myself, for real, to finally let go.

I let that person go.

I felt miserable but as the hours, days and weeks passed by I finally had let go.

So when is really the time to let go?

I think a person should let go when they tried everything you could possibly do to save it. If all those things didn’t work, it’s time to let go.

That was one of the best things that happend in my life, I finally got the courage to let go of something i couldn’t change anymore.

Because if the person doesn’t know the worth of your tears.
The person isn’t worth you.

I’m an average 20-year old with 99 problems.
Letting go isn’t one of them anymore

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Be A Preacher Not a Judge.

Let me be clear. I understand very little, least of all the things happening close to me. We humans are very interesting creatures. Our brains all work the same yet don’t see or feel the same.

How is it than that:
We judge people for judging people because judging people is wrong?

Oh wait I am judging you, Sorry.

We want to fit in, yet we want to stand out and when someone else does stand out there either asking for attention or made so insecure that they turn into “regular” people and lose themselves. People judge on different things like; race, religion, sex and appearance.

Let’s start with an example, think of it a dark skinned person walking in a bad neighborhood he doesn’t have nice clothing just decent ones. Our brain automatically fills the empty pieces together without us noticing. It remembers a dark skinned person, bad neighborhood and remembers things said on the news and the first thing you’ll brain will say; he must be a drug dealer or a thief. It’s not your fault it’s just things that our unconsciousness remembers and pieces together. Little do you know the man is a volunteer in different housings to help elderly people do grocery shopping and cleans their houses.

The same goes for a man wearing a djellaba and has a beard, funny enough this happened to me the other day while working. A man came into the store looking like this and a few minutes after I hear a colleague says: oh there you must have a terrorist again without even talking or looking closely at the man. My colleague her conscious thought he might scream Allahu akbar and suicide bomb us. I told her she should help him and see for herself if how she judged him would be as he really is. She did, little did she expect him to be such a nice and polite man with such wisdom and love for the country we’re living in. That day she helped the man and retold me the wisdom he had told her.

It’s saddening to notice, but this happens a lot. Like when I was working at one my previous workplaces a man who looked homeless came into the store to look at the leather jackets that were stalled out. I asked the man if he would like to have a cup of coffee and he did. After I had given the man his cup of coffee my boss asked me not to give homeless people coffee otherwise they would constantly come back and not buy anything. Little did my boss expect the man to buy two leather jackets and a jeans.

Guess we Really Don’t know people as much as we think..

In the end it doesn’t matter what you do or how you act, you’ll always be judged without people knowing you and honestly, that says more about them than it says about you. It is okay, don’t let these kind of people make you, who is perfect with those beautiful imperfections that makes you stand out and not fit in be one of the “regular” people.

Don’t be like the rest of them darling, and I am not saying I do not judge we’re humans and judging is part of our nature, but you are able to change the way you judge. Some people call me naive because of it, but I look at someone with a blank page to give every person an equal chance of filling it with the facts that make them de individual that they are. Based on the facts wrote down for me I judge them. I let them individualize themselves for me, let them tell their story. Just like I don’t want to be seen as a person who is part of a big group of people with their typical characteristics. These characteristics are a part of me, but they do not only define well, ME. Same goes for the way I dress and how much make-up I’ve got on.

Just continue walking, please and never ever return

In the end I think all we should worry about is what our loved ones think about you, sometimes it even doesn’t matter what they think. We shouldn’t be brought down by the thoughts of a stranger. The more one realizes that the happier you’ll be in life, because who the fuck are they for treating you like that without knowing the inside of you. Next time someone does judge you for things that don’t define you raise your hand and give them the finger.

I’m an average 19-year old with 99 problems 
and judging people isn’t one of them

We Are United

With thanks to the Live Feed of snapchat alot people of the world were able to follow millions of muslims doing their umrah during Laylet El Kadr. For the people who have no knowlege about the Islam: Laylet El Kadr is the night when our holy book the quran was recited for the first time by our prophet Mohammed (May Peace Be Upon Him).

I was suprised to be honest I had never expected this to happen, but man the vieuw was beautiful! And what was it emotional to look at. It was overwelhming to see the unity of muslims from all over the world come together and pray together in such a peacefull and lovely manner. I was a bit jealous I really wanted to be there aswell it must have felt so amazing standing there with everyone and just pray.

While recently the Islam was portrayed as a religion of terrorism, extremists and violence. It was eye opening how a 300 second feed can change so many minds and perspectives of something. My opinion for a first since a long time Islam was able to show how peacefull and united we are. We do not kill in the name of Allah nor in the name of the Prophet.

When people enter this holy place you do not see a black man or a white woman nor a rich person or a poor one. What you see was your brother, your sister a nice a cousin a big family reunion.  All in the same motion millions of people all over the world pray at the same time. The Vieuws shown by the mecca feed not only opend my eyes all again for the beauty of my own religion but alos the eyes of many others. From non- Muslims wanting to convert to people who saw muslim as terrorist to one who is intrested in the religion.

I hope that more and more people will see the beauty of this religion and no I won’t force anyone to convert nor will I hate you if you don’t, beacuse in the end all we want is to live peacefull together and help each other in need.

I hope people will now smile at a person with a hijab instead of just walk away and not to judge based on what the media says. Look for your own answers instead of just following.

For the people who have not been able to see the #live_Mecca feed can Click this link and watch the beauty of the city that really doesn’t sleep: Mecca

I’m an average 19-year old with 99 problems 
and being judged because of my religion
Is one of them.

Friday the 13th

I’ve always been the kind of person who did absolutely not believe in Friday the 13th, but yesterday sure took it’s toll on me and made me think about it. And no, I still think its a coincidence and that it has nothing to do with that particular  day…

I think, I hope..

It all started with a wake up call at 9:00 am from my mentor, because what is a better way to wake up? It’s getting better: she said I had to be at school in a hour to apply for my redo and, if I won’t make it I will have failed and inevitably be kicked off this school.

Good morning to you too..

You Failed, You Passed or You have to Redo.

We’re in that period that everyone is stressed out or just nervous about: results. And not just normal test results, no, final results deciding if you failed your year, passed it or have to redo an exam.

What’s the worst about this?

THE WAITING